After taking her vows to become a nun, Sister Sarah (Asun Ortega) finds herself abused and drugged into submission by the corrupt clergy. On the verge of death from a lethal mix of drugs, she receives a message from God: she must take vengeance on those who’ve done her wrong. Armed with two big revolvers and shotguns, Sister Sarah launches her crusade.
So, we have nuns that happen to be nude a lot of the time, big guns, and a plethora of other naked women. And we get a massive amount of violence, blood, gore, beatings and murder. All of this is accompanied by whacka-whacka-guitars and rock riffs. None of it makes up for a paper thin plot, and utterly bizarre editing. Perhaps Guzman was trying to seem like the epitome of cool, but his use of subtitles and split screen shots makes an already weak narrative downright impossible to follow.
Like most Grindhouse films, the bad guys here are really evil. However, Guzman misses the mark by tossing out rape so casually. Rather than paint them as horrific, Nuns plays them like any other violent scene, which just seemed in bad taste. To each his own, but the sexual assaults like those seen here don’t strike me as a necessary feature of good B-movie fare.
Nothing about Nude Nuns with Big Guns works. Because the characters are so thinly written, it’s hard to feel sympathy even for Sister Sarah, the victim. Even when she does take up arms to seek revenge against her attackers, there’s no real flow to the action. It’s as if Guzman stood behind his camera and decided okay, “I want more boobs, more guns.” It has the feel of having been made up as he went along. The whole thing looks cheap, and since the film was made on a budget of $85,000, it was very cheap. Cheap or not, the acting didn’t have to be as terrible as it is, with not even one performance qualifying as mediocre.
Nude Nuns with Big Guns ends with a teaser trailer for a potential sequel that we can only hope never materializes. Only the most ardent fans of exploitation films are going to want to give this one a look. Otherwise, take out your copy of Planet Terror and watch exploitation in the hands of a master.
Presented in 1.78:1, this 1080p transfer is a mixed bag. The color palette runs the gamut from a bleached, sandy look to heavy reds and blues. To me, faces had an occasional reddish tone. While much of the film comes across with fine sharpness and clarity, there are instances of obvious softness. It should be said that there were no real digital artifacts to speak of, though I did notice a couple instances of noise.
The DTS-HD MA 5.1 soundtrack is nothing to write home about. While this is said to be a multi-channel soundtrack, the side speakers only come into play when environmental sounds are needed, and to provide unremarkable musical accompaniment. Dialogue is always clear, emanating from the front channel.
English SDH, and Spanish subtitles are included.
The following special features are available:
- Nude Nuns with Big Guns Short Film (3:46) In what is really a teaser for the main feature, Sister Sarah seduces a lesbian before killing her. You’ll see a nearly identical sequence in the main film.
- Original Trailer
